| Category:
Funny Revenges!
Reader Rating:
2.00
Contributor:
n/a
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Corporate Call
Here's an evil fantasy I have never actually indulged in; perhaps others can take inspiration.
I work in a large, corporate chain, and we have these comment cards on the tables that practically beg the customers to write something bad. I imagine the last question on the comment card to be, "Come on now, isn't there anything else that you can POSSIBLY think of that was even the SLIGHTEST bit to your dissatisfaction so that you may get something FREE????"
Someday, I want to take one of these cards where the customer has really ragged some poor server but had the brazenness to add his own name, address, and phone number to the completed comment card. I plan to call him and speak in the sweetest most bubbly voice and say I am calling from the Customer Service Dept in the home headquarters. I would start out telling him that we received his comment card and wanted to discuss his problem with him.
I'd say a few more typical, corporate, people-pleasing types of things and allow him do some more complaining, but then I would start to get a little cocky with him: "Sir, maybe you don't realize the difficult job our servers have to do."
I would let him go on, but I would slowly become more severe: "You know, maybe if you would take common decency into consideration when visiting one of our restaurants, you'd have a better experience."
"Many people think they can demand anything they want and are often hoping to get something for free. Maybe such a rude FUCK such as YOURSELF will even get his food SPIT in if you ever show your face again in our restaurant. Why don't you get a FUCKING LIFE and concern yourself with THAT; you probably have a TINY DICK, YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!!!!"
Have a nice day. Click.
—Joy P., Virginia
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